Yesterday I wrote for 25 minutes, 1.75 pages worth. A little full circle moment between Jack and Valerie, with the Mustang. I like it, it’s a little awkward, yet cute at the same time. Bashful Jack is cute to picture, and fun to write. That despite everything he’s done, there is a renewal, a redemption, restoration — not a facade. 🙂

I think I’m going to write a small scene with Valerie and Allan, I realized that is needed too. Allan’s old behavior didn’t just effect Jack, but Valerie too.

I wish real father figures/fathers, would always see their error and change, make amends. Apologies that are real, not just empty words that are said over and over. And you’re just expected to say I forgive you?

I know we have to forgive, as Jesus instructs. How do you do that, how do you convey to a person, who doesn’t really know, that what they did isn’t okay. Nor is saying you’re sorry without any real change. That’s something I struggle with, and at this moment so is Jack.

How do you deal with someone who keeps apologizing, but no change or action, that ever shows they are not the same person? That they truly and deep down in their core know their actions were wrong.

I still don’t have an answer for that, and when it’s happened to me, I stay silent. I don’t say “it’s okay” or “I forgive you”, because I haven’t reached that point.  Because it wasn’t okay, and I haven’t completely forgiven them. Especially when the “I’m sorry,” is followed up with a “but…” Then you’re just trying to justify what you did, you’re not sorry. Because if you were sorry, you would own it and not justify it.

I know many can relate to this. Broken homes, broken people, broken families. Damaged by various things: addiction (in any form), abuse, dynsfunction. Destruction.

I’ll end it with this: You’re not alone. There is hope for us. Beauty and REAL change. Freedom comes from Christ – the ultimate Father, who loves us beyond measure. No yard stick is long enough for that! 🙂

May you feel that love, and let it envelop you today, and every day.

I love you, with the love of Christ! <3 ~~ Shalom!
~ K