So… I missed Friday 8/30 and Saturday 8/31, but you know what? I’m gonna keep on rolling, so this is my day 5!
I just spent some time in the robo reader (Speech Note program on Linux PoP OS, I referenced on day 1), and I got to the part with Dave and did some revising.
Dave is a side character in my book, drummer in the band, recently found out he is going to be a father, and his girlfriend has no plans to keep the baby, and will be putting it up for adoption. He is devastated by this, and writes a song about it, which doesn’t go over well with the audience, and he’s pushed to the edge. He tries to take his life by overdosing, but what he sees at that moment frightens him beyond measure, and he pleads for God to save him.
I wanted to share a quote from chapter 14, where he and Jack are having an overdue “laying it all out” between them, as Dave has been angry with Jack and his behavior leading up to this moment.
Dave drummed the table. “You mentioned the abyss. When I overdosed, I thought I was going to Heaven, to be with my mom. The thought of not winning custody of my child, what if he never knew me and he grew up with strangers? The possibility of all that pushed me to the edge…” Dave cleared his throat. “Crazy isn’t it? I tried to kill myself because of fearing I’d never see him, but if I would’ve died that night, it would’ve made it reality. I still struggle with that fear, but I am fighting for hope. The hope I have a chance.”
“You do, you can get a lawyer, Val’s—”
Dave cut him off. “I’ll never forget what I saw that night, Jack. I wasn’t going to Heaven. I was going to hell – the abyss. I asked God to save me, I never wanted to live more than I did in that moment.”
Jack was quiet for a moment. “Val told me accepting Jesus and repenting is the only way to get into Heaven… But I don’t understand, you’re a Pastor’s kid.”
“I never took salvation seriously, and I think somewhere along the way I lost it.”
“I guess this faith stuff is more serious than I realized.”
I’m quite happy with this revision, as it points to the character’s spiritual growth, in realizing the irony of his decision and how it would’ve brought about the same outcome he feared, with no hope and no fight. In this moment, he and Jack are realizing they need something greater than themselves.
In other news, I’ve decided to keep my Kindle and return the Pocketbook, after weighing pros and cons, and I’m happy with that. 🙂
What have been some of your favorite revisions, or ones you are pleased with that came out perfect?