I missed a couple of blog days, but no excuses, here I am!

Today I decided to go a different route with my book, I hadn’t originally intended too. But it hit me, with men like Allan in the book, the bad memories usually override the good. Alcoholism brings out a nasty side to people (and sometimes just exacerbates who they already were), but underneath that, there are good memories too. You just gotta dig for them sometimes!

And it’s painful. I think maybe what is the most painful, is the realizing that there is a person underneath of it, who can be a good person, but the addiction and ugly behavior has consumed them, and they’ve chosen to embrace that, at least for the time being. I think addiction is a counterfeit identity … I’m still learning and trying to wrap my head around that, but I don’t think anyone sets out to become one (no matter what is their weapon of choice), but well, some people do not know when to stop, or have good will power, and it consumes them. I think, even messing with it, opens a spiritual doorway that is better left closed.

But I started writing a good memory Jack has of Allan, one that he’d forgotten, it was buried on top of all the bad, ugly and hurtful ones. I’m still writing the scene, but Jack has commented before how the “past kept bleeding into the present”, in regard to he and Valerie’s life, and after remembering this one, I think he will contemplate that again. There is a part of him, that is afraid it can’t be fixed or changed, and suffer the same fate his parents’ marriage did. Also, another thing forgotten, nor that many knew about, perhaps just his parents, will come to the surface from the memory and Allan, one that I’m thinking will involve Jack.

Because Allan will be back in the book, at some point. He is keeping his distance, after Jack came unglued with him upon learning a big family secret, that his parents never told him.